the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize