At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
