South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
