btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
