it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
