And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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