He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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