The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize