hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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