We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
so much tequila, so little girl.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
