there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
