I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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