almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
