If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
