Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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