You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Randomize
