i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize