Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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