IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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