Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
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