Capitaan dildo arrescate!
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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