New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
