I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
She needs sedatives and a leash
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize