Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
