all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize