Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
