normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
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