He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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