he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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