Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
