8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
