My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
My dick has a subreddit
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
