I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
