Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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