She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
