i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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