I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
