I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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