he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
