i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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