if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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