My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
