I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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