Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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