i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
