i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I need to align my fucking chakras
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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