Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Randomize
