I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
