guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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