I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
