I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
