absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
