it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize