Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
