all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
