ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I am full of burrito and curiosity
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
