just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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