I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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