Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
