I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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