big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
