I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
