I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
