YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize