The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
