I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
