If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
