Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize